"to call a spade a spade"

There is this girl i am attracted towards. I have no definite reason why, i just am. Sometimes its the color of apparels she wear; light orange tank top or the faint red Bura kira. It's almost like she knew the dresses i love seeing girls in. She makes it look better.
At times its the attitude she carries in the crowd. I am the timid one who hardly can raise his head as he pass by people on the road, while she literally has the, "i don't give a fuck" look on. She hardly turns towards the public when they tease her from the side lane.
Once in the courtyard, she smiled at me, i am sure it was thrown at me, her eyes told me. I really didn't know why she smiled but at that moment i realized how beautiful she really is. It is then that i realized how captivating a smile can be. The whole universe's beauty simplified down to that smile of hers. Nothing was more honorific than to know it was addressed to you. How lucky are they who get to see it every day.
Let me tell you she really ain't that pretty, the one you might have thought until you reached this point. Not saying she is ugly, she is pretty but not the magazine kind or the flamboyant miss popular of the university kind. She is just simply attractive, you want to look at her more as you stare at her, she is a magnet you know. I at times conclude that her face matches with Kelly Gale (VS model); apparently the reason i give for her attractive face.
By the way don't you dare stare at her eyes. She will engulf you into a fantasy which has no turning back once you get in to it. Its a hypnotizing machine. I am hypnotized.
 At this moment all i know is i am very attracted towards her, almost everything about her but i just cannot justify. For there has never been a quintessence of her kind for lay human like me to describe. Tomorrow i might have better words but may not be good enough ones, for feelings come somewhere outside the brain, somewhere we chose to call heart and as much as i understood heart doesn't function to be rationale.
Maybe tomorrow we will talk, we will get close, i would know more of her, but still she would never be anything less than a labyrinth i want to get into.
For now, i conclude, i am attracted towards her and we are two different poles, literally.

  This is what I have learnt!

This is what I have learnt!

The path left behind is gone forever,

The ones lying ahead, not destined for me,

And the one I have chosen,

Is full of tyranny and massacre,

Which I endured but left scars of wound,

On the core of my pumping heart,

 And it’s a catastrophe that I challenged

Yet sometimes I wonder, if

Time machine was not only a story,

But a fact that genius overcame,

So I could pull and turn,

Pull the bygone moments towards,

And turn time to the sweeter past,

Then I know paths will be carved with joy,

Happiness embolden on it,

And wait for me to come,

Unlike the bitter present,

 Begging on my knees for a second of happiness,

But unblessed so was answered with painful sorrows,

This is what I have learnt,

Gone are those moments of joy.

This life is of heavy challenges,

The result of my one moment pleasured decision,

Will be my only companion

This is what I have learnt

TILL

TILL

From distance, I stare,

But if I could meet your glare.

Then you would see,

Beauty my eyes are of so glee.

Till then let me keep ,

It just for me, like my sleep.

Every chance, every seemingly chance,

I grab it and I want to dance.

Then just as I am about to speak,

I reach my dumbness’s peak.

When that key to treasure is gone,

Or it would not have been life in lone,

And that uncertainty is the drive,

Wonders come, what if I thrive.

Because of the yes, no outcomes

Dominant feelings I have are agony ones.

Then wish for time lapse comes in,

But tomorrow I will still move in.

If it is how everyday be, be so.

I will take until the last sow.

For I cherish today’s everything,

Even the agony feeling.

 I know tomorrow will not be today.

Future will make me miss yesterday

So even though it is slow

This moment I don’t want to blow

Instead I will go with the flow.

Keep all, till the end and with it love shall glow.

He chose to be foolish.

There once was a guy who was in no pursuit to be smart, he was foolish and was happy that way. His foolishness was for him, his smartness. For he knew if he ever became smart, there was no way he could keep loving her- while loving her was all he had.

 She was the moon he spent his life trying to reach at while he was far down at earth that she would never see. The hamartia was so fatal that he chose to void it. If he hadn't, no matter how much a human try not to expect but expectations are bound to happen like ice in the cold.

He knew the day she would love him would never come, but still because future is unseen he was adamant in believing that there was a day, in the oblivious future where she reciprocated to his feelings. Therefore future was his quantum of solace. The uncertainty of future that once hold him back in trying is now all that makes him try. She warns him of the unlikeliness, that she would ever fall in love with him yet he perceives it as her means to check his devotion. Something time cannot utter, nor the outcome that waits for him at the end.

To fall in love with someone you know just few days ago, someone soon to leave oceans away, someone off your league, someone even the best guy you know hardly stands a chance with, someone whose beauty is not in her silhouette but somewhere in an intangible core and to dream she will love you back, you had to choose being foolish. Smart people would have never done it.

For only foolish people can be the butterflies that will get to the little flame of light even if they knew their dream land was their death trap. Get there and be happy even if it was doomed to fail all along, only foolish were smart enough to see it.